I AM

WHO AM I ?Or – WHO DO YOU SAY I AM….

I am free | I am happy | I am confident

Lies, Lies, Lies

I am tied down, I am weighed down
I am oppressed, I am depressed
I am tired of being who or what people think or want me to be.
I pretend to be happy, I pretend to be free,
I pretend to be confident when I’m not.
I am falling apart around the edges.
Falling apart on the inside.

Oh God it hurts like hell.

It hurts but they don’t see my hurt, they don’t feel my pain.

It’s not about me…. it’s never about me,

It’s all about them….. always about them.

“Oh you’re the strong one, your shoulders are broad, suck it up and move on, he didn’t mean what he said, oh I apologize, I was vex, it would never happen again” they all say.

I just smile, on the outside but they don’t realize that like, “sticks and stones may break my bones…….words or actions…..they do hurt“.

They say “You have to stick to what you stand for, stick to what you believe in, be bold ,be proud.” In my mind and in my heart, I want to, to stand up and say what’s on my mind but when I do they say…..” You can’t say that, it’s not right, it’s not nice. ”

So you know what? I don’t say anything, cause when I do….. I’m wrong.

So here’s who I AM, this is how I’ve allowed myself to be molded by others and lost me along the way.

I am small
I am weak
I am insignificant
I am stupid
I am ugly
I am too black
I am too skinny
My hair is too nappy
I am no good

Deep down the young lady that has been shot down so many times, wants to burst forth, like a butterfly from it’s cocoon , ready to face the world.